Everything says that I can retire in about 5 years' time on an income of about 40k per year. 

I don't want to retire then because: 

1) I want intellectual stimulation and career recognition. And I really don't want to be a second-class citizen like most consultants are / I don't think I've gotten to a level of seniority, relationships and personal renown that I can comfortably rest on my laurels. 

2) I don't think being a full-time parent is something I really want to do, although some additional vacation time would be nice. 

3) I want a lifestyle where I work most of the time in a job that's not too stressful but has some level of impact, a title, health insurance, etc. Which is pretty close, I guess, to what I have now. I need to manage stress and burnout and get back to enjoying the job. 

If this means we are exhausted all the time so be it, this is the configuration, and we just need to bring in more help. 

Anyways, 5 years seems like it's quite close but it's also extremely far away. There is no need to try and talk about theoretical things then. Right now we can only plan about 6 months ahead at a time. 

Check in: net worth 1.317M (820k CHF)

This is a political post, kind of. At first I thought I would just be able to handle the change of political climate and I didn’t realize that I had to physically and emotionally process the election, physically by getting pneumonia and staying at home, emotionally by crying over every small thing like women’s rights being trampled and having a harder road ahead, and by not being able to travel to North Korea (looks like that one is still possible).

Anyways I am / my family is doing well financially right now at least. 

Liquid net worth (investment accounts, retirement accounts, investment real estate) is worth 630k CHF, with my income the highest it's ever been at 182,000 CHF post tax. (higher before the exchange rate calculations I guess). Overall things are going great. In 5 years I'll have probably 1M in retirement accounts which will be enough to live. 

At home things are also going well with family - two kids are thriving, husband is doing well at work, I'm surviving (barely). But trying to stay positive and realizing that being positive is the only way to keep going. 

Two possibilities at this point are: 1) trying to shift into pharma; or 2) doubling down and trying to keep going in my sinking industry and get to the point of having a steady income and steady retirement. I don't really know what would make more sense at this point. One or two more years in my current job at least, as long as I am able to do so. 

Check in: Net worth 1.18 M (around 760K CHF)

Interesting, how my values have changed. 

In my 20's, I thought all I needed was to have a net worth around 1.2M and I would be able to retire probably by 40. 

In my 30's, I knew I also needed a paid-off house, but thought I could still get there by saving 100k per year, and retire probably by 40. 

Now close to 40, I realize not only do I need investment accounts around 1.2M and a paid-off house; but I also won't be able to save 100k per year anymore because childcare expenses don't stop once your kid stops going to daycare (and in fact are almost equally expensive as daycare, by the hour - we pay around $1450 per month for after school care after E's kindergarten), and I now have 2 kids, which means the broader part of childcare expenses are still going to continue for about 5 years. 

At this rate, even if my investments grow, I will probably still have significant expenses (greater than retirement expenses) for the next 10 or close to 20 years, and probably need to work to make this happen. 

So now I understand why people are unable to retire until they are 55+. 

But I won't be able to survive 10 or 20 years in a job that I don't like, without a sense of purpose. 

How do I get that sense of purpose back? 

How do I stop looking at the numbers and start looking at having a wholesome life again? 

I would definitely counsel friends to work 4 days a week rather than 5 if possible, even if it means delaying retirement. 

So why is it so difficult for me to do it myself? 

Check in: net worth $1.15 M (740K CHF)

Now that I realize that net worth is relatively meaningless as a measure. I find it less necessary to keep up with these updates. 

But since the last update 3 months ago my net worth has increased by about 70k which I find incredible, which is considering that I have done nothing except just keep my money in the market, and work I guess. 

Why is net worth meaningless though? 

It doesn’t tell you about your relationship to the money. More important is where you have your money and what income you can generate. I can have it all tied up in a house and have a great deal of debt and be in a world of pain… or I can have a healthy and predictable cash flow and be happy. 

What I really need is to: 

Buy more income generating investments like stocks 

Do not buy unnecessary debt - eg buying less house 

Stay frugal or become more frugal except when it comes to education for kids 

Not much else. I have a downpayment already for a house. 

I need to adjust my measures in order not to include my primary residence in my calculations anymore. Or, just to calculate : 1) total net worth; and 2) investment portfolio which are two different things. 

My investment portfolio is currently about 540k, not counting my pension pot nor my downpayment for the primary residence. So... that's pretty good? This means I can retire, spending 40k per year, in 2031-2032 if I keep putting 40k a year into the retirement portfolio (above my spending and mortgage expenses). 

But is very early retirement what I want? Turning into a vegetable isn't really living my best life. I think I just really want a break, but I know work is extremely important for two things: 1) intellectual/social stimulation, and 2) having dental insurance for the kids!!... so I think that's something to consider. If I can hold out another 12 years or so there's also the advantage to pay for Emilia's university education, if she needs it. 

Looks like I'm in it for another decade, then.