Dopamine and buying things

Most people get a dopamine hit when they buy something. It feels comforting to acquire something. 

I think we also get a dopamine hit when we think about something to buy. Usually my thought process goes like this: 

Think of something I am missing eg I am feeling tired and a coffee would help me feel better, or my ears are cold and I think I should buy ear muffs, or my breath is stinky and I think I should get some mints. 

Each time I think of the solution I get a little dopamine hit. But each of these things costs a lot of money and are more likely behaviourally-trained. 

But there are better, less convenience based ways of solving that problem that don’t involve the transfer of funds from me to other people to pay for the convenience. 

I have a hat at home. 

I can buy mints in bulk / I have lozenges at home. 

I can make a coffee at home or bring one with me. 

Same as financial independence. I think of the problem (financial pressure or work pressure), then I think of the solution (having a ton of money), then I feel better. 

But it doesn’t solve the convenience problem - I “pay” in lost productivity when I think about things along these lines. 

Being in control of your life involves recognising these circuits and stopping them when they are not useful, like when you are trying to save money, or when you need to be more productive and not distracted by social media. 

Money plans over next 6 months

 I am glad that our monthly childcare expenses won’t increase dramatically when I go back to work full time, because baby won’t be under 1 anymore so the daily cost goes down. So instead of $2201 for 4 days a week, per 4 weeks we will be only spending $2240, which is only a 1.2% increase. 

And for kid, there’s a chance we will stick to the current childcare plan of 1 full afternoon and three half afternoons, as I will take her to piano class (and maybe swim?), and she has a language teacher / babysitter one afternoon a week. So those costs will still run about $1000-1200 per month. 

So total fixed monthly expenses right now on childcare: 

$2500 baby care (adjusting for most months having slightly more than 4 weeks) 

$1200 after school care 

=$3700 on childcare (which we get 40% back, so cost is 2220). This is fixed for at least the next 4 years until baby is in school. But even then it will only go down by 15%. And kid’s expenses will not go down. If we get an au pair,  expenses would run about $1000/month also but we would be potentially more flexible. 

$1570 rent 

$500 transport 

$500-$1000 groceries 

=5290 total. Our take home income is around 15000 so this runs at 30% of that. It doesn’t feel like it but I guess this is the reality.

My reasons for a move would be: 

- trying to do work that is more interesting 

- potentially having more compensation 

I’m currently in a hybrid job where I can work 3-4 days a week remote and commute to the office the other 1-2 days. The workload is fine. It used to be very interesting but they brought on someone who is slightly more senior who has positioned himself between me and my former skip level and taken all the interesting work for himself. I am therefore left with pretty much the secretarial tasks (note taking) and shitty tasks (mediating between colleagues who are arguing). 

While this has reduced my workload substantially and that is great with 2 kids under 7 (I probably only work 15-20hrs per week really but get paid full time) I am worried about flatlining on my career. We also could use more money, who can’t. 

So I guess - job with no responsibilities and an annoying manager, or something where I could potentially make more but would probably have to work more. 

I guess the answer is clear - stay as long as the role stays like this, and get a certification/skill/degree in the meantime, or just spend time with the kids, and keep and develop good health habits like exercise and diet, for the majority of the next decade. I guess both should be fine and if I stay in this type of position it will at least be a wonderful financing of another programme. 

When I am 45 I guess I want to have raised 2 well adjusted kids and have a job that I can do for at least a decade longer. Maybe at that time I will do a PhD or some other degree. Pharma stuff is interesting to me and I guess I can try and position myself to go forward in this area. I guess you can never spend enough time with your family, nor spend enough time exercising. 

Can I stay in this position for another 2-4 years? Only time will tell…